Washington DC-based Creative Jonny! Stories from military school 🎖 fear of success 👻 anime worlds to live in 📺 (36)

Don’t Be Strangers * Podcast Show Notes

xinyi @ don't be strangers
36 min readDec 13, 2022

Welcome back to Don’t Be Strangers, a podcast and community focused on fighting adult loneliness and changing the narrative that “making friends is hard”. **I’m your host XinYi, and I typically meet my co-hosts for the very first time while recording! If this sounds fun to you, please consider applying to co-host a future episode.

Today I’m chatting with Jonny who I met via this very Don’t Be Strangers community. If I remember correctly, he found our instagram page via episode 26 “aromanticism in relationships, growth from suffering, and the beauty of daily life with Nathan of Crawl Across the Sky” and that’s how we started chatting via text. So obviously, this is one of those scenarios where the co-host is not a complete stranger yet it was through this episode that I felt like I really got to know Jonny much better.

My deep impression of Jonny after this particular conversation is that he’s very upbeat and insightful, derives his energy based on his surroundings and the types of people he’s with, and a fantastic friend. A sneak peek of what we cover include…

  • Jonny’s stories from assisting a militant school for 6 months
  • the fear of success
  • my two top favorite podcasts for life and biohacking
  • anime worlds that Jonny would potentially want to live in
  • stereotypes we would like to break about us

With that, please meet Jonny…

00:00.00 xinyixan All right? Johnny can if you would like to introduce yourself.

00:04.12 Jonny_Color_ Um, hello I’m Johnny also known as color and I do colorful things I like art and I’m like skateboarding. Um, yeah, just the introduction to me I’m here with. Don’t be strangers podcast and we’re going to talk about some stuff right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh right? Yeah, so did your folks support you a lot when you were growing up or.

00:26.45 xinyixan Ah, all right? Ah, if you want to hit hit me up with the first question.

00:36.63 xinyixan I Feel like personally from my perspective I felt like no I think I felt like no because I was the older sibling and so I feel like that just given that. Um.

00:51.33 Jonny_Color_ Um, okay, okay, yeah.

00:52.34 xinyixan There’s there was a lot of because I feel like parents with their first child. They’re always like more protective. They always push them a bit harder. Um they and then by like the second or third child there they kind of chill out and they’re just like. Ah yeah, you can do whatever you want? Um, so.

00:59.20 Jonny_Color_ E.

01:06.52 Jonny_Color_ Yeah,, that’s what a lot of like people who are siblings that are know say like the middle child is always the one who’s like that slides under the radar they will see always see like the youngest and the oldest and I grew up a only child. So yeah. I didn’t really have that sibling structure. So yeah, it’s interesting.

01:31.41 xinyixan What was your experience. Um, what was your experience experience like being an only child did you like it did you wish? yeah.

01:38.10 Jonny_Color_ Experience being an only child. Um I Wish I had siblings to kind of take the attention away from me sometimes um, it was pretty.. It was okay. Um. Have moments where I did feel like super lonely and stuff but it wasn’t something that really bothered me like or bothered my ego per se when I was younger I was just kind of doing my thing and then I stumbled across my best friend and like. Middle school ages and he’s pretty much my brother at this point at least I because we consider each other like that. So yeah, Thank you.

02:23.47 xinyixan That’s awesome. Um, is well. You’ve said that like you sometimes wish that you had a sibling. Did you ever think like into more details like what that would be or not really like oh I would like a.

02:36.99 Jonny_Color_ Um, like an older sibling like an older sibling so it was someone who I can watch so I can kind of like navigate things better because I I was I was a good kid it just I I.

02:39.10 xinyixan Okay, an older one. Um.

02:47.23 xinyixan Ah, yeah.

02:52.23 Jonny_Color_ For some reason grade wise I couldn’t get it together I was I liked my I like some of my teachers. Yeah I like some of my teachers and I like like some of the subjects math I suck that but it was. It’s such a weird thing and then.

02:57.10 xinyixan Um, school’s not for everyone.

03:11.10 Jonny_Color_ Ah, out of high school a thing around my senior year ah me my mom decided it would be best for me to go to military school and it wasn’t because I was a troublemakerr it was simply because I just needed just to sit down and just get the work done So We did that. And now I’m here so military school. Oh My God during it. It was horrible. Did we were so bored that we fought for fun and I got somebody expelled for that.

03:32.80 xinyixan Um, well what? Um, what did you think of military school. It sounds like you.

03:48.98 Jonny_Color_ Semester because I was viewed as the good kid I could do no wrong and he he didn’t mean to hit me in the eye I just ducked too Low to try to block a body shot and his Knuckle just hit right? there? yeah. And we we tried our best to ice it massage the black eye out but it was not nah. It did it work but um, no, no, no, we were fighting for fun like we were just going to the body heat.

04:05.33 xinyixan Ouch.

04:11.99 xinyixan So I’m guessing you guys are still friends like it. It didn’t sound like that fight was due to bad blood or anything. It was just like.

04:24.32 Jonny_Color_ Caught me in the face. Um, we were still cool I didn’t get I didn’t keep up with him outside of military school but he came to our graduation for that cycle and so it’s like no buy blood at All. Um and other funny stories that there’s a short stocky. Staff member like he’s short but buff and everybody like crowded into one room and everyone had pillows because we weren’t going to put our hands on them because we’ll get knocked out but everyone had pillows and we turned to lice out and we called him into the room. And you just shoved started shoving his way in flicking the lights on he grabbed the one dude I just shoved them through everybody sat him on a counter and swam his way out through the pillows and I was just like Wow. Okay I That’s fun. Yeah, how are you.

05:13.43 xinyixan Wow Power move. But.

05:19.54 Jonny_Color_ Was powerful. Oh same guy that um, accident. Well accidentally got expelled. He was our food snatcher guy too. So I felt so bad because what what he used to do. He was like a spider monkey and at night he was sneak out the door and start. Dorm section go into the de fact which is like the cafeteria basically and still the cookies out for the back climb in through the window and give us stuff. Yeah, yeah.

05:49.72 xinyixan Ah, Wow. Ah, but so did you actually fly it or you were just like a passenger.

05:56.80 Jonny_Color_ So yeah, it’s really cool I got to fly in the helicopter. That’s also something cool. So no I got to fly in it I was I was a passenger and knows I.

06:07.98 xinyixan Okay, okay, okay gotcha I had a I had a friend in the Navy and she I don’t know um what it was and because I’m not really familiar with the curriculum or anything but at 1 point she was piloting like actually a plane and I was like. Okay I don’t know how what is the connection between.

06:26.94 Jonny_Color_ Ah, that sounds like she went to so military school is just a militant school that can connect you until the military but is just a militant school that makes sense so they use a more like.

06:38.88 xinyixan I think.

06:42.55 Jonny_Color_ Militarized structure in their schooling and curriculum that doesn’t mean that they might have like special programs to like get your pilots license early or something like that. But that was the experience I had because I went to the I went to a program one called free State Challenge Academy and it was like on edgewood.

06:50.55 xinyixan New.

07:02.23 Jonny_Color_ Like I think Aberde proving around. That’s so it was really cool to be on a military base but at the same time I was kind of sketched out because I’m I’m here with all these guys you have all this testosterone on 1 floor.

07:17.90 xinyixan Fuck.

07:21.38 Jonny_Color_ Keep in mind the girls are above us. So I’m just like man this is a recipe for something to pop off and I’m just I’m just here I’m just here man I Just want to leave I Just want to do my thing and go um.

07:32.63 xinyixan Ah.

07:36.76 xinyixan How was it 4 years or

07:40.68 Jonny_Color_ No, so I was I transferred out to it in my during my senior year and it’s a program to where I just had to be there for six months and I get my high school diploma. so yeah so I think god did not have to be there for like more than.

07:45.54 xinyixan Okay.

07:53.16 xinyixan Okay, Gotcha gotcha.

07:59.50 Jonny_Color_ Six months oh my goodness my sanity my sanity beat I’m already crazy. Oh pi would it just drove me over the edge. It’s like this is.

08:03.62 xinyixan Um, ah.

08:06.57 xinyixan I did not realize that you could join a school for as short as like just six months if I guess you said you transferred to it.

08:12.12 Jonny_Color_ Well, it’s it. Yeah, it was a like yeah I transferred to it and it was a special program at the time. So yeah I I just got lucky because the year after no one’s ever going to get their high school Diploma they’re going to get.

08:25.24 xinyixan Gotcha Ah hey gotcha.

08:30.53 Jonny_Color_ Their own G D So I was we were like the last class that was getting that privilege. But yeah, um.

08:31.00 xinyixan I See. While that timing then I want to loop back to you being an artist because you mentioned that in your introduction I would love to know what are some of your proudest creative projects and how do they come to be.

08:47.84 Jonny_Color_ Aha.

08:53.24 Jonny_Color_ Ah, my proudest creative projects is the one where I worked on my other. My other best friend. Ah Mars we worked on like a music video together and we did a photo session together and. Those are really cool like those are my favorite moments with him. Um I was always supportive of him because he because like ah oh the music. Ah I think.

09:12.16 xinyixan Was oh no I was gonna ask more details for like how that project came to be like what did you start? that did he start that? yeah.

09:27.24 Jonny_Color_ Was pushing him to be more curative at the time because ah he he was kind of struggling like in a dry ride or something like he just wanted to do something but he didn’t know like what he wanted to do I think um so I just gave the idea like hey we’ll hit up this friend I can. Pay them out of my own pocket to kind of help us out and we did it too. We did to ah let me see valley girls by black bear which was funny. It was the video. The video came out pretty decent. Um. Yeah I just like yeah, let’s make a music video with a projector just like kind of screening on my body and we’ll have like a background here and we also went out on location and just like film like little scenes of stuff like that and over the years he’s also collected rills from like trips as he went on so he we cut those in as well and it became like a. Perfect video for this for the song that we were using. It’s owning Youtube but I’m too embarrassed to link it you know I’m seeing yeah yeah I’m proud of it. I’m proud of it but I’m also embarrassed of it. It’s okay and that was weird.

10:23.89 xinyixan Is this like on Youtube or somewhere. Okay, but you said to give up decent but okay. And no no wories. Um, but it sounds like it was a really fun project regardless that you got to work with um, are you do you have any other creative projects like in the works.

10:42.91 Jonny_Color_ Yeah, um, what was a really fun project. Um, yeah, really fun. Yeah, it was awesome.

10:57.85 xinyixan That you’re like thinking of starting or maybe you have already partially started.

11:01.58 Jonny_Color_ I have nothing in the works right now I’m kind of like floating around like I’ve been picking backup base I might just start riding I used to write a lot of hooks when I was like a teen. I Couldn’t write full music but I can make some really good hooks for songs and Bridges. So I might start doing that again. Um, but I definitely want to get back into my creative side is just that this current place that I’m in I’m in with where I’m working. It’s. It feels like a mind flare just kind of like sucking away on on the back of my brain just like yeah, all those thoughts and ideas. Yeah, now they’re gone now. But I definitely want to get back into creating anything. Really? yeah.

11:47.40 xinyixan Is.

11:53.89 xinyixan Yeah I I wonder if it’s like the matter of I fully understand oh so like artists block and then also like having a job that’s like draining and then not really having energy for anything fun or for yourself.

11:56.95 Jonny_Color_ Oh.

12:08.82 Jonny_Color_ Um, like I’m very environmental. Yeah I’m very environmental very environmental. So like I need to surround myself with this space that I need to be in that mood or be in that mindset. So. For example, when I was coming when I used to work at a coffee shop I used to work at Lalom and Sweet Science Coffee those 2 places made me feel like creative like it was generating ideas I always had like tons of energy I had people to constantly like talk to that came in grabbed their coffee had fun. Sat in the third and I always had high energy coming home because I was happy I was like oh okay, yeah I did this today I learned this today I almost did this? Yeah let me try this out and to go from a high energy environment to such like a dull. Setting is like kind of a mental whiplash like I’m starting to get I’m getting used to the schedule. It’s just that I don’t feel any inspiration. So I’ve been there since I want to say June or august.

13:10.78 xinyixan No, that makes sense how long have you been at this particular job.

13:21.34 Jonny_Color_ No I’ve been there since August there’s been a couple months me years been a couple months.

13:23.60 xinyixan Okay, so like a couple months move. No, it’s like no I just I think that that means that like it’s if it’s only been a couple months and you already feel this way I think that’s pretty bad. That’s what I’m saying um.

13:40.69 Jonny_Color_ Um, yeah, yeah, but my my best friend war he warned me because he he’s when I got me a job because I I really needed a job at the time he’s like Warren was like hey man I don’t wish this old Eddie Golden but I know you need like.

13:41.20 xinyixan What happened? um.

13:53.13 xinyixan Um, yeah, um, what about the barista job is it not possible to get into another coffee shop since it sounds like that’s your vibe.

13:56.27 Jonny_Color_ I’ll take what I can get man. Yeah.

14:02.24 Jonny_Color_ Um, um, it just I is possible is just that the I’m too sketched out because I had weird situations happen at both other jobs and I don’t.

14:17.20 xinyixan The.

14:22.25 Jonny_Color_ Want to reenter the coffee community cause I don’t feel safe. Yeah, at least not in this city Washington Dc is pretty small when it comes to coffee I just don’t I don’t feel safe reenting that it’s like so sketchy.

14:24.68 xinyixan God Job godjo.

14:36.53 xinyixan That makes sorry yeah.

14:40.27 Jonny_Color_ Well sketchy. Yeah no, you know you’re good like I talked to a mom about she’s like yeah they kind of be sum’m just height. Yeah, but I just I’m just uncomfortable with being around it for right now. Yeah.

14:53.30 xinyixan Yeah, that makes sense and Washington DC is really small. So I think like even else have the coffee community is just a small community. Um, overall. So yeah.

15:03.28 Jonny_Color_ Um, know you’d be surprised what you find though in DC I had um I think last last weekend. No the weekend before this weekend I went out by myself I wanted to go with friends but I forced myself to go out because I want to go and do something.

15:18.88 Jonny_Color_ And ah, originally I was supposed to go axetoring right? but I was by myself. So my reservation got canceled because it was busy over there so I was going to walk 45 minutes to toki underground which is like ah asian s anime small bar. Thing and think goodness that there was one of the little line bikes that you could little you know rent out with your phone turn to trip into like 10 minutes 50 minutes max it was really good and that was like the first time in a while I’ve gone out by myself to. Yeah.

15:57.88 xinyixan Wait That’s actually really inspiring to me. Um, because I feel like this is perfectly aligned with my question of like how do you make time for yourself and indulge in your big kid energy and this sounds like a great Example. Do you have other examples. Like this.

16:16.31 Jonny_Color_ Um, ah, how do I make time for it. So I think I give it thought before I do something Um I try to I try to plan ahead but it ends up being spontaneous for me I try my best is like. Oh I’m gonna go out Sunday. Okay I guess I didn’t go out Sunday oh wait. No I’m a go out now. It’s like I cancel then go out. It’s weird at least when I’m by myself I’ll cancel my own plans then’t go out all of a sudden because I can’t make them up my um I think.

16:44.27 xinyixan Um, yeah.

16:51.61 Jonny_Color_ Learning how to invest in yourself and being okay with um I think there was a youtuber named afro send you he he had this struggle where he didn’t want to indulge in what he’s reaped and sold as in like.

17:08.40 Jonny_Color_ He’s he’s made this Money. He’s been successful but he’s too scared to indulge himself and he because he feels like he might lose it at any point or it feels selfish to do so and I I have some variation of that where I feel like I shouldn’t. Do a lot of things right now feel like I should be more more even more responsible than I’m already trying to be and I kind of had to learn to say Okay I don’t always have to go out with friends I don’t always have to be this way. Let’s just do something just to do it. And it’s really, it’s really nice. Been trying to get into that mindset though it’s It’s really high but it’s okay, but.

17:55.62 xinyixan Yeah I think it’s something that I’m trying to practice more myself which is why I’m asking the question because I’m trying to find like ideas um and inspiration from other people’s examples.

18:04.61 Jonny_Color_ Yeah, for sure I think just going to the wall and just do it just whatever it is when it comes to my as song just safe and you know the results where you know the risk you know all that stuff you know for legal reasons I should say that you should just do it. She’s just.

18:19.12 xinyixan So.

18:23.75 Jonny_Color_ Do it. Don’t let your dreams be what else? What? Whatever shy love upset in that video meanme thing. Just do it. You know and it’s scary to just go out in general nowadays though. But if you want to.

18:29.88 xinyixan Um.

18:32.23 xinyixan The.

18:42.85 Jonny_Color_ Learn how to make aressel go learn how to make it espresso just take the necessary ship steps ships. What did I say I don’t know take the necessary steps to do it. You know and experience comes with timing. You’re never going to get the experience if you never try it.

18:48.19 xinyixan Into the.

19:01.22 Jonny_Color_ Speaking of that if you could speak to someone 10 years older than you? What advice would you give them then so this isn’t that giving you a advice but this is you giving them a vice and they’re oding you.

19:02.20 xinyixan Um, and.

19:06.20 xinyixan Um, okay I thought this question but.

19:16.44 xinyixan Yeah, okay I thought that was actually a pretty good twist on the question because I when I read the question I was like did you typo, but but it was like way I’m giving advice to someone 10 years older than me. Um I feel.

19:30.80 Jonny_Color_ Yeah, yeah.

19:33.58 xinyixan Like this is interesting because I feel like because as we grow older. We feel the the need to be responsible the need to act like an adult the need to fit into society and stuff and so um.

19:39.15 Jonny_Color_ E.

19:45.65 Jonny_Color_ Um, riot.

19:49.64 xinyixan Very tied to the the theme of big kid energy or like indulging in oneself that we kind of repress like the things are fun. Um the things that we actually want to do because it doesn’t feel adult of us to do these things.

20:00.90 Jonny_Color_ Um, right right.

20:05.98 xinyixan Um, and I think it’s so so interesting because sometimes I think about the fact that like people have children and it’s almost as if like the parents get the joy of like doing childlike things because they have the excuse of having this child so they’re like. Oh I am also like in this like bounce house because I’m like with my child um and and therefore it’s like socially okay for me to be in the bounce house. For example, but then I think like oh it’s kind of sad that like.

20:40.41 xinyixan It’s not as like socially acceptable for people like who don’t have children to just like do these things because it’s like oh are you crazy like what are you? Why are you having fun in this way like well I just like enjoy right.

20:44.20 Jonny_Color_ Um.

20:50.74 Jonny_Color_ Um, yeah, why are you having fun stop having fun. No this Yeah,, there’s this meme that floats around sometimes is like you’ll you’ll see these stick figures just huddle in the group they’re looking like they’re playing a video game. And there’s one figure in the back just constantly complaining constantly complaining this evident eventually. He just yells over stop having fun say say do just do you? Just do what you Enjoy. There’s no age limit except for what your bones can handle really. But.

21:23.87 xinyixan I Completely agree.

21:26.00 Jonny_Color_ There’s no real age of it to do if you want to go to a escapeate room go to a escape room if you want to skate go skate and just be the self that you want to inspirere to be because you’re already that person you just got to go do the thing.

21:42.29 xinyixan Um, this reminds me of a really like 1 of my favorite quotes and maybe I think that’s going to be the advice that I would share with someone 10 years older than me which is that.

21:50.55 Jonny_Color_ I mean.

21:52.80 xinyixan It’s never too late to become who you were meant to be I Really I really? ah adore this quote.

21:57.71 Jonny_Color_ I Think people are who they meant to be.. It’s just that they just got to do what they want, you got to put in the work. Do what you want? Just do it man and it’s so hard to get that mindset drilled into you because of the fear. Because we I think we were speaking to the Tanna about this. Um, just the fear of failure really gets to people and really kind of twist. What they view their success as and what they view their failure as but yeah continue sorry.

22:30.68 xinyixan Um, I you’re good, Um**, actually on this topic I would love to know your thoughts on the fear of success.**

22:42.78 Jonny_Color_ The fear of success is being okay so I have this weird thing where I daydream about when I’m successful and I show my face all my skeletons pour out the cause and I get canceled. I’m viewed as the villain I’m viewed as I get pulled down by the Twitter mob that maybe exists by then or like just something from my past that I’ve conquered. Just rears its head again and just drags me back down to where I think I belong and I’m not sure if everyone has that fear but that’s my fear that when I’m successful. All the things that I’ve done wrong that I try my best suit correct will just come back and pull me back.

23:19.85 xinyixan New.

23:35.20 xinyixan Thank you for sharing that.

23:35.56 Jonny_Color_ Um, and it’s very oh thanks him. But um, yeah, that’s very it’s a very scary thought and it’s it’s definitely kept kept to me from doing stuff for myself rather than doing stuff for a friend. Because I personally I enjoy seeing people being more successful than me as well. So that kind of feeds into myself like leveling out just like yeah I can stay in the background you guys do your thing. Um. Yeah, but my thoughts and fear of success is that you shouldn’t be afraid to succeed no matter what people tells you if people starts hating on you. That’s a sign that you’re doing something different from everybody else and you should keep doing it as long as you’re not hurting nobody and as long as you’re not putting like. Andrew Tape levels of androgeny and all this stuff out there. You know oh wrong word misogyny as long as you’re not speaking hate as long as you’re not doing hate as long as you’re not acting on hate. Do what you want and if it goes off and if it pops off keep doing it. Keep going and do it and that fear will come and that fear should try to guide you to be cautious and be responsible but you shouldn’t let it overtake your decisions because I regret some decisions that I should have made for sure.

25:05.61 xinyixan Yeah I Really appreciate you sharing your version of like the fear of success because I think that it’s a topic that’s not that ah commonly spoken about I feel like everyone talks about the fear of failure sure. But.

25:06.20 Jonny_Color_ Yeah.

25:16.38 Jonny_Color_ Oh.

25:22.13 xinyixan I Think that to a certain degree I also suffer from like the fear of success because for me I think that manifests as like more responsibilities and you know the child in me is like I don’t want more responsibilities like um like I just want to enjoy life and kind of like.

25:35.83 Jonny_Color_ Um, he.

25:40.19 xinyixan Stay low but then at the same time I Really want to be able to make like meaningful impact on people’s lives and so it’s like this constant struggle of like I don’t really want to like make waves. But then like I really want.

25:50.80 Jonny_Color_ Um, yeah.

25:56.86 xinyixan Like you to basically prop others up and like to help them out and to to be able to do that and to like reach them I do need to have some sort of influence and and striving for influence is also like in the direction of success or whatever.

26:14.22 Jonny_Color_ He yeah.

26:16.30 xinyixan This is and so it’s it’s like this constant strugglele of like I don’t want more responsibilities but I want to help people like what is like what is the way I can do this like quietly but like quietly under the covers. Yeah.

26:22.56 Jonny_Color_ For sure. Yeah, what? what? how can I do this in the shadows and I think that’s also a thing that should we should stop doing is that we should prop ourselves up with the people that we’re are also propping up. And what I mean by that is that focus on yourself because you cannot help others without putting yourself in a position to help in the first place. Um, because I’ve I’ve always been that ah vice friend that and I said this are reconnected. Ah. Ah, hope hopefully nothing got cut out. But why? Why am I offline can you still hear me.

27:02.96 xinyixan Wait Why are you offline? Ah I I mean I can hear you but like I don’t know why it’s offline can we? um I’m gonna can we both like stop and refresh I am so confused. Okay, just.

27:17.50 Jonny_Color_ Um, okay I mean I’m still recording my end. Okay, ah I don’t see the word offline anywhere I have a green dot next to my name.

27:20.55 xinyixan But you’re still but does yours say offline.

27:27.46 xinyixan Okay, wait I’m just gonna I don’t know I’m gonna I’m do the pause we come back and just pick up.

27:35.49 Jonny_Color_ Okay.

00:00.15 xinyixan Um, okay, um, go ahead finish what you’re saying.

00:00.67 Jonny_Color_ So yeah, just okay, yeah, it should always make sure yourself is in a position to help because if you’re not in a position to help others. You should always help yourself first and helping yourself first should always come first.

00:14.63 xinyixan I Completely agree.

00:20.23 Jonny_Color_ Even if you feel selfish you should still do it because um I think you just for some reason feel bad when you see others down and you’re like kind of coming up because I have this thing where for me I just think where I i. Believe that when I’m down other people are always going to do better. So if I’m doing and I use that to kind of cope and make myself feel better which is I don’t think that’s a healthy coping coping mechanism to have I’ve done that for so long and it’s very hard to break. Yes, yeah. I need to really like step 1 awareness step 2 find a focus group near you. Um, yeah, it’s it’s it’s a thing.

00:57.53 xinyixan But at least you have awareness of it. So I think that’s like step 1 right? Yes, ah.

01:13.31 xinyixan But I completely I completely agree that it’s actually not selfish to help yourself first because if you are not helping yourself first then I think what could happen what likely does happen is that you become in.

01:20.68 Jonny_Color_ Um, yourself.

01:33.12 xinyixan A certain way sort of a burden to those around you because maybe you’re in a depressed state and your energy can greatly influence like those around you and so therefore like unintentionally you’re just like oh I’m just sad and like whatever.

01:34.35 Jonny_Color_ And it.

01:44.55 Jonny_Color_ For sure for sure. Yeah.

01:52.84 xinyixan Um, but no, it’s and it’s important that you try to do something about your circumstances and heal yourself. Um because otherwise yeah, there is like a ah negative impact. But then the the hopeful aspect of this. Situation. Every these circumstances is that the opposite is also true. Which means if you’ve helped yourself and you are optimistic. Um, you have the energy and availability to help others. You naturally will exude that energy and like act in that way.

02:14.72 Jonny_Color_ And.

02:28.20 xinyixan Which means helping yourself is actually not selfish because it will benefit your environment and like the people that you’re with so um, um.

02:34.47 Jonny_Color_ Yeah, yeah for sure. Yeah, and speaking of influence and everything. How do you think?? What do you? Um, What do you think Influence is the most as an adult now. Like what really influence you in your decisions.

02:53.84 xinyixan Both This question is really difficult because it’s so big think um but I ok um I think my biggest influence.

02:58.64 Jonny_Color_ Um, yeah, what is your biggest influence. We’ll do that area.

03:10.23 xinyixan Has probably been in my adulthood years. A few of the podcasters I listen to religiously I think it makes sense because they are also in their own ways like an influencer because they’re putting out content. They have their own opinions and I’m like voraciously consuming. Um.

03:22.17 Jonny_Color_ E. Are.

03:29.96 xinyixan Specifically specifically speaking these are influencers in the biohacking community to podcasts that I used to listen to a lot. Not so much anymore. 1 of them is like I think called the human upgrade collective or something like that with Dave asprey.

03:47.99 Jonny_Color_ Um, interesting all right skynet three days closer

03:49.49 xinyixan And then the second one? Yeah um, the second one is the Tim Ferriss show I just find these really fascinating because the first one is actually truly biohacking focus and I really like the. Whole idea of being able to influence your health because I feel like nowadays a lot of medicine and healthcare is just kind of like bandaging the symptoms but not necessarily targeting the cause whereas what is very attractive about biohacking to me is that you’re basically.

04:15.20 Jonny_Color_ A.

04:24.57 xinyixan Um, influencing and minimizing the the likelihood that you will have issues because of these steps that you’re taking and I prefer I prefer that outlook on Health um on Health care.

04:35.50 Jonny_Color_ And here.

04:41.49 xinyixan Rather than like oh let’s just wait until I have a problem and then like and then try to like figure right? Um, and the second one with the Tim Ferriss show sorry go ahead.

04:44.90 Jonny_Color_ Um, yeah, you should should definitely be proactive about your health for sure for sure and I yeah I was sick on no um, my brain is gathering thoughts. Go ahead.

05:02.47 xinyixan Um, the second one the second one with the Tim Ferriss show um I think I was especially drawn to Tim Ferriss well initially through his book the 4 hour work week.

05:02.83 Jonny_Color_ Um, loading.

05:16.25 xinyixan But not so much for his like entrepreneurial um outlook on life but rather his very unconventional outlook on life and as a little rebel myself and also a fellow like student of life because I think is very apparent through the way he speaks and like the way he presents himself that he’s.

05:17.41 Jonny_Color_ Um.

05:35.25 xinyixan Very experimental that he loves learning about the world and so because I re relate on this front I felt like for the first time I I kind of viewed a celebrity type figure like someone who’s like at that status who kind of reflected my perspective on the world and so.

05:49.11 Jonny_Color_ E.

05:54.52 xinyixan I Felt understood through his content and then oh so I do admit like low-key I think he did kind of influence my desire to start my own podcast because what he does is like he has conversations but typically like most interview or conversational podcasts.

06:05.24 Jonny_Color_ E 3

06:13.70 xinyixan They are with um people who are renowned in some way who have accolades over books that like had Ted talks or something whereas I’m more interested in just talking to like everyday people because I think there’s something to be learned from everyone. Um, so yeah.

06:21.79 Jonny_Color_ Um, okay I’ve got.

06:29.41 Jonny_Color_ True true yeah, have you ever listened to the midnight gospel.

06:34.69 xinyixan I have heard of it. But I think it’s it was like a Netflix show they turned into a Netflix show right.

06:38.91 Jonny_Color_ Yeah, they made it they turn it? Yeah so they just animated over the powercast. That’s all they did but all it’s so good. It’s it really makes you kind of take a step back and look at humanity just like oh Wow this person went through this just.

06:45.48 xinyixan Yeah.

06:58.72 Jonny_Color_ Okay, that’s really cool and it’s really neat to kind of see people like really connect their thoughts and just investigate things and the way he kind of speaks is like you’re just lounging back and you’re just having this very intimate conversation between um. Him and whoever sees hosting him is very sweet. Yeah, um, yeah.

07:18.10 xinyixan I Will definitely add that to my to listen to watch because I confess I got like many recommendations for it and then I decided to consume it in Spanish at a time where my Spanish level was not that high so like.

07:28.74 Jonny_Color_ Um, oh no, honestly yeah, you should listen to it in English because because the way they speak is very very sincere to each other.

07:34.53 xinyixan I Don’t think I was really like getting it. So I’ll probably just go back And yeah. And.

07:46.30 Jonny_Color_ And I think yeah listening listening it listening to it in your home language and having the luck of you Both you know, speaking the same language I think that makes a little bit of a difference for sure. Oh nice, nice.

07:57.74 xinyixan Yeah I will definitely look it up right? after that um, kind of jumping topics I Want to know if you could pick a fictional world to live in what would it be a why.

08:05.30 Jonny_Color_ Yo.

08:10.72 Jonny_Color_ Dude, this is this this. This answert here is so hard because insurance in any other worlds I would like to live in with skyrocket like a billion dollars did I am not joking I would not want to live in any of them. But I want to live in one and well.

08:20.12 xinyixan Have.

08:25.48 xinyixan That.

08:26.97 Jonny_Color_ Um, honestly I would want to live in my hero academia. That’s the most like realist kind of Realis World I can see myself surviving in um, for sure.

08:41.99 xinyixan Um, the what would.

08:43.40 Jonny_Color_ I can see myself at least surviving in it. But the coolest world I would like to live in will be Jujuice Su kaisin because it’s so raw. Well okay I’m talking about manga I’m talking about manga and being like you. Yeah.

08:49.60 xinyixan Okay, I’m not familiar with no no yeah I Okay I am familiar with my hero academia but for the listeners and I’m not familiar with the second one that you mentioned but for the listeners could you give them context in case, they have no context for what these worlds are.

09:02.10 Jonny_Color_ Oh yeah, no worries. Okay, so I’m talking about I’m being a weep I’m being a weaoo I’m kidding but I’m I’m talking about 2 manga and 2 enemies called um, my hair academia and my hair academia is one where everyone. All of a sudden was born with superpowers at a certain point. Um and society has kind of morphed around that and gotten used to it. You have criminals that have powers and you have heroes and cops that have powers and certain people have super special powerful things that they get famous because of that while others are left to be boring. And behind and become this new form of normalization and some people are born with no powers and it kind of with the real they though as a anime in a manga. It does kind of hit a sense of realism if everybody was special. What will happen. And it’s still kind of the same effect as you see celebrities and like content creators getting famous where someone may have this super cool power or in our case, someone may have this super cool talent but because it’s not put out there because you know. Society does it deem it as cool society does it demon as useful you get left behind while others get to like flare and show off and do all these things and yeah, my hero academia is about a kid who started off started off with no powers and all of a sudden he gained a power. So.

10:38.47 Jonny_Color_ He has this perspective of being powerless and now all of a sudden be granted power and all of a sudden be granted ah a small smidge degree of special treatment. But overall he’s very scrutinized because he started off with no power and he’s all of a sudden. Just gotten one. Um, it’s a cool read is very friendly. Um, yeah, so it’s just a cool read in generals I wouldn’t say like it’s breathtaking. Breathtakingly new, but it’s pretty cool. The other one is a really dark. It. Is dark. It’s is’s a dark manga called Jujusu Kan and it’s about it takes the the nato if you ever if the viewers have ever seen art. So the the guy that has a Fox spirit in him right? So jujuice ka in what they do with that trope with the demon assign meroppe is that right. The main character Yugi he has to self-sacrific and get that demon inside of him and they do not get along. They are not meant to get along ever in a series and there’s these things. People call curses which are born from our negative energies in that world and normal people can’t see them but people who have like a whole bunch of.

12:04.95 Jonny_Color_ Negative Energy or or some people are just purely born with ability to do it and those people are called JuJu to sorcerers or curse people if they do bad things and I think I like that I like the idea of that world because it brings emotions into Reality. It brings things that fester into reality and it also shows that this negativity can also become your power this bad feeling. You can make it into something good and try to beat the other feelings that are hunting others and.

12:39.50 xinyixan Me.

12:41.64 Jonny_Color_ I Would like to be in that world. So that way I can try to make a difference truly by eliminating those feelings and try to understand those feelings of where they come from or how they reoccur. So yeah.

12:56.80 xinyixan That sounds really interesting I wanted to ask you in like the my hair Academia world. What what would be your superpower. Ah.

13:04.40 Jonny_Color_ Um, my superpower. Oh dude I have no glue. Um I think I really like machines and stuff and I’ll also like the idea of. Biomass manipulation like flash manipulation I think having the ability to make a machine that can make anything else become a machine is really cool. So like if anyone’s seen Jojo I’m talking about a stand here but is. I don’t know have this so many so many and me stuff in my head but having the ability to create like a creature that can make other things into machines would be cool. Yeah, ah, we really cool.

13:40.55 xinyixan So.

13:50.23 xinyixan Means. I Have to ask you the question that I ask everyone which is how do you define a stranger and at what point did they transition from being one to not being one.

14:05.92 Jonny_Color_ A stranger for me is somebody who I just literally don’t know just someone who I walk pass on the street and I say hi to and they say hi back and they walk a pass or whatever but the moment they cross it to being someone. A friend or just so a mutual is when I open a conversation with them is when I say hi how’s your day. Oh you did this today. Cool man I Hope you feel better just small this opening up a small talk to me that person now becomes a mutual I don’t know if I ever see them Again. I don’t know if. Like that will be their friend but having opening yourself up to just talking is easier for me than just the building that wall you know So I think that’s where.

14:56.95 xinyixan Do you identify? Sorry go ahead. Do you identify as an extrovert then.

15:01.76 Jonny_Color_ Do I identify what.

15:07.69 Jonny_Color_ I am ambervert because I kind of did go went through some stuff like a few years back that made me like reclusive to a shell some coming back out but when I get started. Yes I’m a extreme extrovert especially if I have a lot of energy that day I will walk by you say hi How’s your day. Is like it’s all based on my energy level for sure. But yeah, I’m definitely an extrovert mixed with an ampervert. Yeah.

15:35.28 xinyixan Yeah I I The reason why I ask is because um, because of what you’ve said regarding. It’s easier for you to start a conversation than to like just leave that wall whereas I feel like.

15:47.85 Jonny_Color_ Um, yeah.

15:49.27 xinyixan I Feel like I like for introverts that’s definitely like the opposite like it’s easier for them to just like but you do your thing than yeah to like ignore people or like yeah, ah, interesting.

15:52.10 Jonny_Color_ Yeah, can I feel like I I’m using up energy to block you know I’m saying it feels like I’m using up energy to block. That’s how it is for me it to ignore. Yeah.

16:09.80 xinyixan Yeah, um, so something else that you mentioned that I thought was interesting was you said that like even a small talk type of conversation would be enough. You think for you to like move someone out of like stranger zone.

16:09.21 Jonny_Color_ Yeah, yeah.

16:23.75 Jonny_Color_ Yeah, because I don’t know where that conversation is going to go and I don’t know if I’m spontaneous gonna walk with the person down the street and just have continue the conversation or they just disappear say Okay I’m open to anyone becoming a mutual like as on you not.

16:38.46 xinyixan No.

16:42.18 Jonny_Color_ Ah, actual weirdo like you could be a weirdo like me. But if you’re actual weirdo please no stay away from me. But yeah, he’s like oh no I’ve be caught out of getting but.

16:49.55 xinyixan Um, but here hey gotcha.

16:56.82 xinyixan Then.

17:01.47 Jonny_Color_ But no seriously is this I Why what? Why not have the opportunity to make another friend. Why not open the opportunity, especially with my freaking friend circle being so small dude Oh my goodness sake.

17:08.86 xinyixan Me.

17:20.16 Jonny_Color_ Ah, okay, yeah, definitely need to make some friends this year and that that has been my goal but um, yeah, yeah.

17:26.65 xinyixan Gotcha So you feel like your personal your personal group of friends is is just like too small and you want to like expand gotcha.

17:33.44 Jonny_Color_ It’s too small. Yeah I want to expand and I’m grateful for them always being. There is just small I want more peoples and.

17:41.00 xinyixan Yeah, yeah, that makes perfect sense. Um, was there any topics that we didn’t get to touch on that you wanted to to talk about any questions that you wanted to go back to.

17:56.60 Jonny_Color_ Um, ah oh this is this is 1 question I think would be interesting what stereotypes you feel hangs around yourself that you want to break and this is this is not counting your racial stereotypes because those are easy.

18:10.38 xinyixan Um, yeah of a stereotype.

18:10.63 Jonny_Color_ So this is your useful specifically.

18:22.44 xinyixan Um I think it will inevitably. There will be maybe like some influence of like the racial aspect of it too I Think that’s not possible to like if you’ve removed from my identity right? yeah.

18:31.38 Jonny_Color_ Um, yeah, that stuff also like stop ever. Yeah.

18:35.94 xinyixan Um, right? but um I think one that I kind of created like a stereotype that created for myself. Um, like unintentionally growing up was probably 1 of like the the way overachiever which is fine like whatever while I was like in school. Um, that was my focus and so everyone would kind of like feed refeed me back this narrative where um I set high expectations for myself and then people um like recognize me for being hardworking for being achieving etc. And therefore they kind of set expectations for me too where they’re like oh yeah, like shin you would definitely be like a doctor or you know just things like occupations are like of a certain um of a certain degree of of prestigiousness I guess.

19:21.17 Jonny_Color_ O e.

19:29.94 Jonny_Color_ Okay, yeah.

19:31.86 xinyixan Um, but then it’s also it’s also kind of unfortunate because it’s like well what if I don’t care for that occupation and yet now like that is the stereotype or the expectation that everyone has of me. So I think it’s like really interesting because.

19:47.20 Jonny_Color_ Um, un count.

19:49.30 xinyixan I think and now that like I’m an adult and I’ve kind of moved away from Academia and like um trying to find ah my personal definition of what is what is a comfortable and beautiful life where I think like Society feeds us a very.

20:01.95 Jonny_Color_ Here.

20:07.58 xinyixan Dale narrative that it’s like to be successful to be comfortable. It’s really just having more money so you can buy more stuff and personally that does not align with me I don’t really care about more stuff at all. Um, so.

20:21.44 Jonny_Color_ Um e.

20:23.91 xinyixan Yeah, all that being said I think that’s like the the stereotype that I have attached to myself like the the person who like can go a hundred hours and like not stop and stuff and is just like that’s not true and like I I’m kind of tired now. So like yeah like please don’t expect that of me. Um.

20:36.92 Jonny_Color_ Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.

20:42.92 xinyixan But yeah and I’m really curious like what’s your answer to this? um.

20:46.45 Jonny_Color_ My answer. Oh I have I have a lot um see I’m I’m the skater boy I’m the artsy kid I’m always happy. Ah,, let’s see what else I thought I had a lot. Skateboard Artsy kid always happy I’m talented I’m always talented for some reason. Um I’m always nice is it is just stuff that people just dot all me and it’s very sweet and sincere. But I’m not like that all the time and it gets really irritating sometimes.

21:04.40 xinyixan Um.

21:22.55 Jonny_Color_ Because people treat me as if like I can do no wrong or as if I don’t get bad or as if like you know Jonathan is very cool at doing this. He should do it. He fits in this mode because he looks like he fits in this mode and sometimes it’s. I do take offense sit that internally internally is like okay this person has more experience in this but just because I look like I can do it doesn’t mean I should do it and I have this weird talent of sounding like I know what I’m doing.

21:46.64 xinyixan Move.

21:53.98 xinyixan Yeah.

21:59.22 Jonny_Color_ Because I know how to speak very well and that gets me a hot water. It’s like no I did it actually want to do this I need to be taught how to do this and yeah, it’s it’s interesting. So yeah I don’t.

22:06.62 xinyixan Um, yeah.

22:18.35 Jonny_Color_ I mind it and I don’t mind it because there’s there’s places where it helps and there’s places where it doesn’t for sure. Yeah, yeah.

22:25.74 xinyixan Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Um of all the of all the stereotypes that you mentioned which is the one that you want broken the most.

22:35.80 Jonny_Color_ Um, um, I’m always artistic I Think that’s the one I want the most because I have more I think I have more to offer than just being a creative mind like I Definitely do get into some very deep. Philosophical questions at random with my friends and I so much. Enjoy just discussing the state of the human mind and how we think and why we do certain things and what like really why our culture has evolved this way and. Ah, just I Just want to be thought of more than the artistic person which is fine I don’t mind that branding is just something I will like to break the mode of and expand.

23:20.63 xinyixan Yeah I Wonder in that case then maybe like how you could change your introduction because you also introduced yourself an artist. Ah.

23:26.68 Jonny_Color_ I did yeah I fed it to it. No, it’s okay, like is it I don’t mind I am artistic I Just want to expand that you know yeah, just break the mode of what it means to be truly artistic. How about that.

23:38.64 xinyixan Um, yeah, yeah, um.

23:45.35 xinyixan Um I love it. Yes I’m all for it. Um, all right I don’t I think I’m going to call it here if there’s nothing else that you want to mention? Okay q.



xinyi @ don't be strangers

musings of a creative chimera + nowhere girl🌙🐉 ✨ illustrator, videographer, whatev-er. 📍 somewhere between knowing & searching (host of @dontbestrangers pod)